Correctly interpreting it as a request for clarification, Rohan said, “I was one hundred percent straight.”
Jamil snickered.
Rohan tugged at his hair playfully. “Yeah, laugh it up. This is really ridiculous. I’m long past the age of having a sexuality crisis.”
Jamil nuzzled his chest, brushing his lips against Rohan’s nipple. “Sexuality crisis is probably the least important reason why we shouldn’t have done it.”
Rohan sighed. “I know, love.”
Jamil smiled into Rohan’s chest and immediately told himself to get a grip. The endearment meant nothing.
“I wish it meant nothing,” Rohan said.
Jamil froze.
Slowly, he lifted his gaze and looked into Rohan’s eyes. They were soft with affection but troubled.
Rohan smiled ruefully. “I’m just saying that I’m not really the type to… I’m pretty sure I never used endearments until I met you.” His expression became pinched. “I’m pretty fucking attached. You can’t have possibly missed that. Our minds are connected.”
Jamil wet his lips, his heart beating so fast he felt almost dizzy. “Your shields are much better than mine.” When Rohan smirked in that infuriating I-told-you-so way, Jamil rolled his eyes with a small smile. “All right, you were right: mine really need work.”
Rohan’s thumb stroked Jamil’s telepathic point, eliciting a pleasant shiver. “Yours are perfectly good against the low-level telepaths all bonded Calluvians are supposed to be.”
Jamil studied him. “But not against the mind adepts of the High Hronthar,” he stated. “Do you have proof that they are not who they seem to be?”
Rohan’s expression went blank. He stared intently at Jamil, silent and thoughtful. At last, he sighed. “I’m not supposed to be talking with you about this.”
Jamil nudged him through their bond and raised his eyebrows, expectant and haughty. “Tell me.”
Chuckling, Rohan leaned in and kissed him on the nose. “Jamil, it’s really dangerous. For you.”
Jamil gave him an unimpressed look. He really didn’t appreciate being treated like someone weak and inept. “I already know enough to endanger me if a higher-level telepath decides to search my mind.”
Rohan didn’t look happy. “Exactly. You’re too vulnerable right now. Let me remove your bond to the prince-consort. It’s weakening your telepathy. Without it, your shields will be stronger.”
Jamil frowned. Rationally, he knew Rohan was right. He knew enough about the childhood bond’s true purpose to know that it affected one’s telepathic abilities. But he still wasn’t sure he wanted to lose the one thing that he still had of his husband and childhood best friend.
He met Rohan’s gaze and found him looking at him intently. Jamil examined Rohan’s emotions bleeding through their connection despite Rohan’s mental shields. There was genuine concern mixed with protectiveness, but they were entirely overshadowed by the almost unhealthy possessiveness Rohan couldn’t quite hide from him.
Rohan grimaced and said, “Ignore it. That’s not why I’m suggesting this.” He sighed. “Look, I’m not pressuring you. It’s your choice. But if you want me to tell you more, you’ll have to be able to protect your mind better.”
Jamil bit the inside of his cheek.
“All right,” he said at last. “Will it hurt?”
The tension in Rohan’s body disappeared. “It shouldn’t. The remnants of your old bond have been weakened gradually by your bond to me. Natural bonds are always stronger than artificial ones like the one between you and the prince-consort. It shouldn’t take much to completely remove it.” Rohan’s lips twitched. “There might be side effects like heightened senses and physical needs, but I doubt they will be overwhelming, considering how eroded your old bond to the prince-consort already is.”
Jamil nodded, noting with some amusement that, for all of Rohan’s claims that his possessiveness didn’t affect him, he never called Mehmer Jamil’s husband anymore. It was always the “prince-consort.”
“All right,” Jamil said, deciding not to call Rohan on it. “Let’s do it, then.”
“Now?”
“I want to find out what’s going on. If it’s the only way, there’s no point in waiting.” Jamil cocked his head to the side. “Have you actually broken a childhood bond before?”
“Sort of,” Rohan said, grinning.
Jamil glared at him, but couldn’t bring himself to be mad looking at that disarming smile. “Seriously? So I’m going to be a lab rat for you?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” Rohan said, laying a hand on Jamil’s cheek. He was still smiling, but his eyes were dead serious.
I’ll never let you get hurt. It wasn’t a conscious thought; it was a feeling.
It made warmth spread through Jamil’s chest before curling in his belly. He and Mehmer had had a wonderful relationship, but Mehmer had never been particularly protective of him. Jamil had always thought that it was a good thing—it meant that Mehmer had full confidence in Jamil’s competence—but now, to his mild embarrassment and bewilderment, Jamil found that being the object of such intense protectiveness didn’t feel bad at all. Quite the opposite.
Jamil had to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling stupidly at Rohan. Ugh. He was a grown man. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way.
Averting his gaze, he cleared his throat. “Let’s get it over with.”
“Look me in the eye, love.”
Jamil did as he was told.
“It might feel bizarre,” Rohan warned, holding his gaze and laying his hand on Jamil’s telepathic point. “I’m going to use our bond to shield you from the worst of it, but it will likely feel very strange at first. Don’t be nervous. If you start feeling overwhelmed, just focus on our bond, okay?”
Jamil nodded, shivering when he felt Rohan slide into him, deeper and deeper, until they both were breathless with the pleasure of it. “Feels so good.”
Rohan sighed, a sense of worry clouding the merge for a moment. “I know. I’m afraid we have a textbook case of merge addiction, love. It’s probably why our bond didn’t break.”
Jamil just hummed in response, wrapping his arm around Rohan tightly as Rohan slid deeper. He barely paid attention to what Rohan was doing, unable to focus on anything but the pleasure of having him fully inside him for the first time in a year. He missed this, having Rohan inside him on such an intimate level. It felt as good as having Rohan’s cock in his mouth.
“Stop that,” Rohan told him in the merge.
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re distracting me. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to focus?”
“I’m not doing anything. I just love having you in me.”
Rohan laughed. “Are you doing it on purpose?”
Jamil smiled widely. “Maybe.”
Rohan’s mental presence tightened around him for a moment, an equivalent of a short hug, before heading toward Jamil’s core.
The bond to Mehmer was still there, wrapped around his core. But for the first time, Jamil could see what Rohan meant when he called his bond to Mehmer ugly. There was something wrong about it, unnatural, and Jamil didn’t mean the fact that it was torn and thin, fraying at the edges. It was like a spider web woven around his core, blocking off entire neural pathways.
“I’m letting you see through my senses. Yours are too weak while this thing is suppressing them. I’m going to remove it now. Focus on our bond. It will make it easier.”
